I never knew I’d miss a place so damn much! I had a really amazing time there. I’ve got so many pictures. I met the greatest people alive. Most memorable was a girl named Giselle. And Tim, Donol and Heath. Tim and Donol worked there, Heath and Giselle were volunteers. Giselle and I grew really close. She’s so fucking fun! I miss the living daylights outta her. Tim was delicious, Donol has such a good heart and Heath was just plain smack your ass funny. At the airport we were shedding tears. Damn, I wish we lived near each other. 7 strangers from around the world (London, Ohio, Louisiana, South California, and Toronto) put together for a month- in the beginning we couldn’t stand to be in the same room and by the end we wished we had more time. But Giselle, Tim, Heath and I made plans for next year and well fuck I can’t wait. This didn’t feel like a volunteer trip, but more like a vacation.

Enough blabbing! Let the pictures do the talking!


( How's the Gumbo? )

My flight's tomorrow at 6 pm! I'll be in Amsterdam at 7 am for a couple of hours and then I'll take off to South Africa from there. The adrenaline is killing me!! I seriously can't fucking wait.

I wanted to say bye to everybody... I'm gonna miss all of you sooooooo damn much. Jesus oh man. I'll be updating on my lj just to share the snit bits of being in a different hemisphere for a month. I'll keep in touch! I'll come back black, pregnant and have a pet monkey with me. Look for me!

Hahaha bye everyone...

"I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream. You got your head in the clouds and you're not all what you seem. This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways, so don't forget what I told you, don't come around, I got my own hell to raise.
...I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride. First you run like a fool just to be at my side, and now you run like a fool, but you just run to hide, and I don't abide."

First off, I'd like to say that I stole Orbach's job and I'm the new Baskin Robbins girl on York Mills! HAHAHA. Well "stole" is the wrong word. The story goes that Orbach quit and they were desperate so hallo! I've got yet ANOTHER job to pay off my dreams.

I finally became able to get a cell! So if I didn't give you the new number let me know. Oh what's great about my ID as a Canadian is that they all say my birthday's on June 2nd, when it's really on the 30th. So I'm an 18 year old doing 19 year old things. Naughty naughty.

This weekend, Wonderland. Call my cell so I don't have to hunt you down. And you (yes all of you) are coming, there can't be a better plan.


( Random Week in May )

Pictures from the weekend.

( John's Birthday Nights )

I swear this has a point.

In one mind, there’s one world- a world generated from the imagination and instinctual behaviour of the mind. The world inside the mind is the life each human being is living. So with this concept you can say naturalists are the ones who study what the mind stimulates with the senses such as the scenery in front of us, existentialists try to see what generates the mind and what power the mind has been drawn from, and religious people focus on and both connect one mind’s behaviour with laws that govern multiple minds.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s turn our attention for a second to the saying, ‘the world is your oyster’. Let’s say that all the people, all the objects, animals, nature, everything in your mind is just a generated trance- the effect of ‘ethereal electrons’ standing behind what you know to be.

It’s like the mind is a single entity on its own and it needs to be nurtured and developed, so it creates challenges, hardships, moments of glory, love and finally, death. When it seeks a challenge, it finds a challenger whether it be in human form or disguised in the environment. When it needs to restore balance, it falls into hardship- sometimes amid a clash with another mind or while it sinks beneath its own behaviour and output of energy. When it’s time for it to feel rejuvenated, positive, and at peace or to feel superficially stronger, the mind resides in love or glory, rewards or accomplishments. And when it has learned all it can from a story-like protocol, it ends it or ‘dies’ in its world.

I guess it’s a little depressing to see life as though everything is just a figment of the imagination. But it’s worth considering. First off, the world, in this sense, is truly your oyster. There’s no telling what worlds your encounters are living in or whether they’re even really there (scary thought, isn’t it?), but despite this wonder, it’s obvious that you’re in control of your life. You are the motherboard, the engine, the nucleus, the sun. You can create whatever you want or need to create in your life, even if it’s living a life with no wants or needs.

That’s not to say we’re living in a virtual video game where we can destroy others and fly in the sky (though both are possible). Your mind is much more intelligent than that. It’ll stimulate intense, long struck consequences, or it will let you pass with no obstruction- all this depending on how the story-like protocol is meant to unravel. It strikes emotions in you, fears, cellular memories, all of which your ‘story’ is codependent on. Seeing things in this way somewhat answers the question to why we have no definite answers about fate, destiny, god, yet we have so many similar minded questions.

It explains why you hear “everything will be alright” inside you sometimes when everything is breaking apart.

It explains concepts about the subconscious.

It explains why it’s profoundly amazing to find someone or many others whom you can connect with.

It explains why those who see the patterns unraveling each of our protocols are considered ‘mentally ill’ or unstable. It becomes true that what these people are dealing with is not a tainted perception, but one that understands too much about the world inside our minds and fails to articulate it to the rest, well enough. In turn they just become a part of multiple mentally stimulated experiences and inspire whatever it is that our minds are seeking at that very moment.

What you’re reading right now can be said to be another effect of your ethereal electrons. They’ve lead you to create these words and notions in your environment so that your protocol is fulfilled bit by bit. You may either completely oppose or connect well with this way of seeing your life, or you may not give it a second thought. In either case you will walk away from it the way your mind has meant to in this scenario.

Personally, I don’t really enjoy believing that each mind I’ve gotten to know is simply a selfish spawn of my private path. I can’t even try and foretell my destiny but so far I’d call myself an observer, bouncing between each of our electronic stimulations and probably taking notes. I know I’d like to live life as selflessly as possible, because the things I’ve learnt have shown me that it is the most impossible thing to be and I’d like to make it possible, or to at least get as close as one can to living a selfless life.

No matter what trance, life, fantasy we’re each living in, it only becomes real when someone else is affected by it. And in short, without effort, every one of you has affected my life for the better. So what was the whole point of this rant? It was primarily to say thank you for everything that you’ve been- not just to me but also what you’ve been to others. Thank you all so very much.